My new blog project: setting up a trackback
At the moment, trackbacking is pretty much an exclusive feature of Movable Type, but thankfully they're in the testing stages for bringing it to the masses. Unfortunately, I've learned about it a little too late, so I've missed my chance to be an alpha tester, but if all goes well, the code should be on the net soon enough.

If you want to know more about trackbackin, check out this site.

Like Spartacus Hughs, I have infected Mike Myhre

More fanfic of the damned: Star Wars: Sith Academy: Darth Maul gets PMS

This had to be the worst trial he'd faced yet.

Maul stood in front of the bathroom mirror, poking gingerly at his stomach. He was bloated. Sith lords weren't supposed to bloat, but there it was, plain as day. How the hell was he supposed to go to the corner store to stock up on Ben & Jerry's if he couldn't even zip up his damn jeans? Normally, he wouldn't give a rat's ass how well groomed he was, but somehow today, he did.

Right, he had an old pair of Miskatonic University sweats around here somewhere... Ah, there they were. Ooh, the fleece felt so nice and cozy against his skin.

He blinked. Where the hell did that come from?

Plodding out of the bedroom in his ratty sweats, he turned to his cat and asked, "Do these make me look fat?"

She looked up from licking her butt, tongue still sticking out of her mouth, and Maul stifled a sudden urge to scoop her up and cuddle her. She was so cute!

Argh! This PMS business was intolerable. Somehow, he knew that the only solution was Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream. Or maybe their Low Fat Fudge Brownie Frozen Yogurt. Or both. Yes, both.

More in link.

Back from the hospital
Just got back from the hospital checking out my injuries. The doctor said that I've bruised my muscles around my ribs and neck, but it's highly unlikely that I broke anything. Just to be safe, was sent to get an X-Ray to make sure that I didn't fracture my neck. Chances are that it's just fine.

One other thing: it's not smart to work a 8 hour night shift at the hotel after a 11 hour day that involved a serious vehicle accident. I'm feeling utterly exhausted.

That's an artirficial vagina for cats. No lie! I found it at a website dedicated to artificial insemination of cats.
From the website:

Semen collection in domestic animals is usually done with the aid of an artificial vagina or by digital manipulation. An artificial vagina can be used for semen collection also in the domestic cat but the method is not very practical in the clinical situation because of the behavior and temperament of this species. Semen collection by digital manipulation has not been described in the cat. The most commonly used method for semen collection in cats is electroejaculation. Spermatozoa can also be collected from the epididymides after surgical castration, post-mortem, or by vaginal lavage after a natural mating.

And what is this "electro-ejaculation" that these people speak of?

The electroejaculator can be custom made but can also be bought from various manufacturers. The rectal probe has three longitudinal electrodes. It is lubricated and inserted 7 - 9 cm into the rectum with the electrodes directed ventrally [5]. Care should be taken to evacuate any feces from the rectum.

Naturally, there's more in link.

This year's best music video isn't Sigur Ros' Untitled #1, it's Unkle's Eye
If you don't love this, Mike, you're fucking crazy. It's Myazaki on crack. Honest to God.

For those who hate conservative radio, I give you this

Rob got in a truck accident today
Background information: during the summer I work serveral jobs, but the one that I've been doing the most for the last 5 years is spraying weeds. Spraying weeds, for the most part, is pretty easy work. You drive to a site with a truck filled with a 150 gallon tank of water, take out your spray hose and kill those weeds. Now this is important, the tank that we use for the chemicals is huge, about a quarter the size of our truck. We bolted that sucker into the box so that it wouldn't move, and believe me, with all that water on the back, it's something that you don't want moving.

Flashfoward to the end of my workday, 11 hours and counting and we're on the way home. My younger brother has just got his "L" and he's been begging me to let him drive all day. Since it's been a *long* day (we drove over 400 kilometers)I decide, why the hell not, let the guy ride. 76 kilometers from home, it happens in a flash, like a skip in a record. One moment we're going up a hill, in the next, we're boucing up and down, blazing through the ditch. The truck jumps twice, and I swear at my brother. Everything is in slow motion. I notice that glass is flying all around us, but I have no clue where it's coming from. Then we stop, it's over faster than anything. Simon's in shock, and thinks that we'll be able to pull the truck out of the ditch. What we don't realize yet is that the back axel is torn to shreds. Once we're out we see the damage. Our mother fucking huge spray until is 10 meters away from the truck, the pump totally buggered, our chemicals gone. It's in front of the truck. Apperently after smashing the back up and uprooting it's self from the bolts (huge holes) it skipped over the truck. Our other pump is on the other side of the truck, remarkably undamaged.

It takes the ambulance about 45 minutes to get to the scene. By then, our statement has been taken by the police, our injuries are assessed (Simon is unheart, I have several cuts, lots of pain in my chest) and a phone call is made for a ride home. The cop tells us that if things were different, we're probably be dead, so I suppose I should ssay that I'm lucky, or thank God, or something. I don't know. All I know is that things can change in an instant and things seem different after an experience like that. After the accident I've been resisting the urge to tell everyone to bugger off. I'm tired of everything. I just to go to bed and heal.

Tell me about the Nerd Prom
We want dirt, David and lots of it.

Thanks Mike. You truly are the king of kings.

Why?

Will Weaton will be the voice of Aqualad for the Teen Titans cartoon

More Found Stuff
Remember a while back when I found the online magazine Found? Well, earlier today on CBC's North By Northwest, they did a program on Found magazine as well as found sounds. One part of the program focused on Found magazine's live performances. During these performances, they take old notes found by readers of the mag and read them aloud to the audience. It's too bad that the CBC doesn't archive all their shows unlike it's US counterpart, NPR. Thankfully, This American Life has a copy of their broadcast here, but you'll have to wait 'till the end of the program to hear it.

Another cool example of found art that they displayed was music by this group called Tas1000. Tas 1000's new album, A Message From Martha. A Message From Martha takes messages from old answering machines found in thrift shops, garage sales et cetra and takes the messages and turns them into lyrics for beat heavy pseudo electronica. It's doubtful that you'll hear it on the top 40, but it's unique music. You can check out some of their tracks here.

Happy hunting.

"YOU'RE A SERIAL KILLER, CHARLIE BROWN!"

Will you kick this football?", asked Lucy Van Pelt sweetly. A dark smile formed on Charlie's face. He had prepared well for this day.

"I dont know...", he stammered, deep down knowing full well. "You might try to pull it out from under me..."

"Dont be a blockhead, Charlie Brown! Why would I do a thing like that?" , Lucy responded quite politely.

"Ok, I'll try...", said Charlie, maniacally laughing inside. Charging back, he ran towards the ball, savoring the tension. At the last minute she pulled it away, but Charlie Brown knew better now. He chopped her head off, and threw her bloody skull onto the ground!!!

Normally I don't like fanfic, but damn did this ever make me laugh. More in link.

That's a concept sketch for Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You can see more by clicking here and here.

You didn't ask for it, but I'm still giving it to you

Don't fuck with Kin Jong-Il.

Whatever it is, I'm buying.

The new meme is: keen

Blankets
Mike picked this up yesterday and he's raving that it's the best graphic novel of the year. He says that it deals with a young lad being raised by an overtly religious family and having a long distance relationship, so it sounds up my alley. Here's the artbomb review.

Grant Morrison at the San Diego Comic Con

When asked about his attempt to bring sentience to the DC universe, Grant described the concept of ‘emergence’ (best to Google it, folks) and how systems, once they become sufficiently complex, begin to generate their own intelligence and consciousness....Briefly stated, once a series of rules/concepts/organisms gets sufficiently complicated, a larger pattern emerges out of the whole. This is the concept behind “smart mobs” and beehives alike. There’s a single mind in a hive, but you couldn’t find it in an individual.

When asked to talk about The Invisibles, Morrison referred to it as not only a treatise on how to do magic, but as a wider introduction to a different way of seeing things (which is a mild understatement, for any readers who’ve plowed all the way through it). He went into particular detail regarding looking at 4th+ dimensional perception (assuming that we live in the fourth dimension: i.e., the three that we’re accustomed to plus Time as the fourth). As shown graphically in “The Invisible Kingdom”, he talked about how we leave “trails” through time, that to our perception in the present are inaccessible. But that if you were able to step outside the bounds of normal time, you could see a person/thing’s entire existence trailing off in the past, to a point far enough in the past where everything was a single Thing just before the Big Bang.

More in link.

Dreams
AT my old high school, there was a rally for socialist youth. Leading this rally was this young woman, about 20 years old. I don’t remember her name, but in the dream it’s obvious that she and I have been flirting for quite a long time. When the rally is finished and the crowd disappears, she and I make some small talk about the revolution and what it means for Canada. Our conversation drifts to what our plans are for the weekend and I suggest that she and I go on a date. She likes the idea and gives me a peck on the cheek. I leave a happy man.

I arrive at home, but it’s much different than the one that I’m in at the moment. It’s a mix of the two houses that I lived in Taylor with a dash of the one that I lived in Airdrie. The basement to this house is very large. When I arrive in my room in the basement (which, in this dream, is about 2/3s of the basement) I meet my ex-girlfriend. In this dream, my ex is an amalgamation of the girls that I’ve dated. We begin to kiss, passionately, which bewilders me as she has a boyfriend. We shower together, and plan to have sex, but I decline, telling her that I feel uncomfortable since my parents are in the basement, but internally I’m torn because she’s dating another guy. After we get out of the shower, we play a board game about stealing a painting from a museum (this game is more complex than monopoly and reminds me of a game that I used to play in Airdrie). While we play the game, she tells me why she’s back. The woman explains to me that she has the weekend off and decided to visit me because I’ve been such a good friend to her, despite the fact that she didn’t return my calls and is dating someone else. As we clean up the game, she confides with me that she found out that while her boyfriend was going off to get some milk, she discovered that he was in actuality, fucking another girl. We go in bed, fully clothed as she tells me more. I want to ask her if she’s using me, but she kisses my chest. Just as I’m about to interrogate her about why she’s *really* with me, I wake up.

The A List has been updated
Yeah, yeah, I know, it's tabloid sleaze, but damn! It's one of my guiltiest pleasures on the net.

Check out the Battlefield Stadium trailer
If you wanted to see the Japanese to their version of Shaolin Soccer with ninjas, men with guns, exploding baseballs and fireballs, this movie delivers, baby.

Parents file lawsuit over Star Wars video

The parents of Ghyslain Raza, the Quebec teenager who became a celebrity this spring after classmates posted on the Internet a video of him mimicking a Star Wars character, allege that their son was so humiliated by the experience that he had to get psychiatric care.

...Ghyslain "will be under psychiatric care for an indefinite amount of time," the statement of claim says.

More in link.

Late night at the hotel
Why is it that when I see a man entering the hotel at two in the morning that they feel the compulsion to introduce themselves with a handshake followed up with a blow by blow of their earlier evening sexploits? This has happened more times that I can count.

By the director of Batman: Dead End: Pocari Sweat

Dreams
Dream #1
Condaleeza Rise announced to the world, live on television, that plans on retiring from politics. She tells us that she’s decided that she’s going to start a school for Gifted Patriots. This school, she tells us, will be used to train a team of elite teenagers whose mission would be to eliminate terrorism in North America. This news is met with mixed reactions.

Dream #2
Patrick Stewart and Warren Ellis are hosting Open Mike sans Mike Bullard. Both are quadrapaligics strapped into a futuristic wheelchair. When asked what happened to them, Ellis lights a cigarette with the help of his robotic arm and tells the audience that this was how he vacationed. Stewart wows the audience with his Spider Jerusalem impression despite his lack of mobility.

Lightening smites girrafe at Disney resort

Lightning struck and killed a giraffe at Disney's Animal Kingdom as the animal roamed among tourists, company officials said today.

The accident occurred on Monday as a severe lightning storm moved over the Kilimanjaro Safari attraction, Disney spokeswoman Diane Ledder said.

"To the best of my knowledge, it was a quick death," she said.

More (although, not much) in link.

Sex and violins
Victoria Conservatory of Music alumni and all around nice guy, Josh Giesbreicht will be performing works by himself as well works by Mozart and Cowell at Cosmic Grounds on Thusday, July 24th at 7:00 as a preview for his show on Friday. I'll be there around 6:30 to see the performance and if anyone is interested.

The Batman fan film is up
I won't have high speed until Wednesday, so I have no clue how good it is. From what I've read it's the best Batman committed to film or fanboy wankage. Either way, it should be interesting.

Pearl
I doubt that any of you really give a shit about my life, but indulge me. I haven't writen about Pearl here yet and this will be the first and more than likely, the last time.

Yesterday I called Pearl for the first time in a month and a half. It’s hard to believe how much things have changed in a year. A year ago, around this time, she and I were phoning each other almost every two days. Making plans for her stay during the summer, talking about our jobs, our summer activities, you name it. Now, it seems that we don’t have that much in common any more, besides the fact that we work like bees during the summer. The conversations aren’t painful like they were after the breakup, but it’s not totally open like it was in the past. When I talk to her, it’s almost like she never really existed and she’s a ghost of a person, slowly fading away.

It’s bizzare how two people who can be that close to each other slowly become strangers, after a given time. It used to bug me that that we’re drifting apart, but now I’ve realized that we’re two totally different people and she’s not the woman that I fell in love with years ago. That’s how life goes, I guess.

Her birthday is coming up on August the 6th. I still have the pictures of us from her last stay in my photo album; doubles, one for me and one for her. Before the phone conversation I was contemplating giving them to her, as a gift, reminding her of all the fun that we had on her last birthday. Now, I think that it would be better just to send her a card, wishing her a happy 20th. If she ever wants those pictures, she’ll phone, but I honestly doubt that I’ll get a call from her again. And after her 20th birthday, I doubt that I’ll phone be phoning her again. I don't want to be chasing after a ghost of someone that doesn't exist anymore. And, in the end, I’m okay with that.

Guess who’s getting married?
I bumped into Jen Welch today at the IGA. She told me that she was just proposed to and is getting married in the next year. Some cowboy, that she’d had an off again on again relationship with apparently.

Grant Morrison now exclusive to DC Comics

The best Batman film that you'll never see
If you're at this year's San Diego Comic Con (the nerd prom, baby!), you'll have an oportunity to see a screening for Batman: Dead End. The advance buzz on it says that it's the best Batman screen adaptation seen yet. Hopefully, after the con, the film will get leaked to the internet. Here's hoping that we'll see a decent Dark Knight in the near future.

Pensioner finds Loch Ness monster

Gerald McSorley found the fossil while walking along the shoreline, the Daily Telegraph reported.

"I literally tripped over the fossil in the water. When I put my hands down to steady myself I saw something unusual and picked it up," the retired scrap metal merchant said.

"Once I had cleaned off about an inch of green algae, and I could see the texture of the bone, it became clear I had an important fossil," he said.

McSorley had stumbled across four perfectly preserved vertebrae of a plesiosaur - the prehistoric creature most commonly associated with modern "Nessie" sightings. The long-necked, carnivorous sea reptile existed 150 million years ago.

More in link. (thanks, Brent)

The trailer for Mel Gibson's the Passion is up

Man Driven Temporarily Insane By Jasmine Tea

Criminal charges were dropped against a man who claimed drinking jasmine tea caused him to go temporarily insane before he smashed his way into a neighbor's house and chased the woman with a large dagger.

Police said they found a wild-eyed Gilbert D. Walker, 43, outside the house in nearby Callaway yelling "I'm crazy" on Dec. 3 after he had broken a glass door with a brass duck.

More in link.

What I'm listening to this evening
Fountains of Wayne-Hey Julie
Lovage-Stroker Ace
Thee Michelle Gun Elephant-Margaret
The White Stripes-Jimmy the Exploder
Sleater-Kinney-Oh!

Masturbation May Prevent Cancer

Who cares if you go blind? An Australian study has found that frequent masturbation may protect men against prostate cancer in later life...

...The study indicated that men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer.

"What we found was men who ejaculated most in their twenties, thirties and forties had about a third less prostate cancer risk than men in the lowest category of ejaculation," Professor Giles told AAP.

More in link

I'm probably the only one who cares, but Dark Horse to publish the Amazing Adventures of the Escapist

Automatic Kafka Post Mortem
Joe Casey on Automatic Kafka

One thing about doing a book like Automatic Kafka… I don’t even know what the “mainstream” in comic books is anymore. And I don’t think I want to know. I just know what I like to read. Besides, desperately chasing after a fanbase gets you absolutely nowhere. Creators should just follow their hearts and if success follows, then all the better.

More in link

It's so wrong, it's right!

What I'm listening to this evening
The American Analog Set-The Only One
Rocketship-I Love You The Way That I Used To Do
Shooby Taylor-Stout Heartet Men(Recommended more than any other song this evening. Outsider music at it's finest)
Clinic-The Second Line
Badly Drawn Boy- The Shining: Avalanches Good Word For The Weekend Mix (An Incredibly good remix by the Avalanches. Reminds me of the fall, for some reason)
The Soundtrack Of Our Lives-Sister Surround

The First Battle Royale 2 review is up!
Just in time for me to get my special edition two disk Battle Royale off of ebay to boot.

Here's what the review has to say about Japan's uber badass with bighair, Riki Takeuchi

Replacing Beat Takeshi in the role of the sadistic overseer of the carnage, we have Riki Takeuchi, an iconic presence for the target market in Japan through his regular excursions on V-cinema productions and numerous works by the director Takashi Miike, though hardly of the same household profile as Kitano. Riki steps up his hard man persona to hyperbolic levels, champing permanently on amphetamines as he barks out orders and gurns into the camera, though his over-the-top performance is unlikely to provoke positive reactions amongst audiences unfamiliar with his shtick.

Girfriend Dreams
Dream #1
I’m living in a second story place on a campus, but it feels like a hotel room. The floor is covered in clothes and I’m aware that someone is living there, despite the fact that at that moment, I’m alone. I’m on the phone, cooking supper (it’s noodles), talking to this Chinese girl with a cute accent. It’s apparent that she’s not from Canada and is most likely an exchange student. The nature of our telephone conversation, though mostly forgotten makes me feel that we’re more than friends, but not a couple. She makes me smile like no one has for a long time. After I’m done cooking noodles, I tell her that I have to go.

I leave the apartment and the next thing that I realize is that I’m in bed with my ex-girlfriend, Pearl. Pearl, like in real life, is a first generation Chinese-Canadian, but I get the impression that she’s quite different from the voice on the phone. She’s happy to see me, but in a friendly platonic way. Despite that, we’re in bed, naked, chatting with each other. I talk about the disintegration of our relationship, and she listens to me. The next thing I realize, a person I know from high school, Aiden comes to bed and she and him start to make-out. Realizing that I’m not registering with them, I leave.

Dream #2
I’m at my old apartment in Grande Prairie, but it feels like the present. I’m sitting at my desk, chatting online with Heather. She’s asking me questions, asking how I am, interested in my life. We also discuss how she’s doing and the conversation flows freer than I recall. She’s incredibly open in this dream, telling me stuff that she wouldn’t otherwise. It’s like we’ve found an understanding of some sort and she feels that she can confide with me, openly and totally. I feel incredibly content in my dream, as if this is what I’ve been waiting for all my life.

Radiohead will be in Vancouver on August 30
Three questions: how much are tickets, how many are left and who’s going?

Kim Jong-Il: The fashionable dictator.

Looks like I'm going to have to drop X-StatiX now

Tonight's music
Apparat Organ Quartet-Romantica
April Stevens-Touch Me Tiger
Susumu Yokota-Into The Sky
Beck-Halo of Gold
Cornelius-Point of View Point
Sigur Ros-Staraflur
Coldplay-The Scientist

My foreign DVD collection grows
Thanks to the joy of ebay, in a couple of weeks I'll be the proud owner of Oxide Pang's horror nouveau, the Eye, Takashi Miike's murder musical, the Happiness of the Katakuris and the imcomparable Ping Pong. Like the Replacements said, "I can't hardly wait".

Hitler vs Stalin: the comic
Over the top and full of pulp, Hitler vs. Stalin is the best online comic this year.

"Drugs are everywhere. We are not winning the war on drugs"
Ozzy Osbourne plans on campaigning against drugs.

Stripper sues Stan Lee

A local stripper has filed a lawsuit demanding an end to the new cable television show "Stripperella" that features an animated, buxom superhero basedon actress Pamela Anderson...

...Clover, 37, is an unemployed Palm Coast resident who identifies herself in the lawsuit as "Sensual Entertainer's Home Studio Founder." She claims she is Stripperella's "true creator."

Clover said she wrote the lawsuit papers without the advice or assistance of an attorney.

More in link

What I'm listening to this evening
Ogurusu Norihide-5:00
Calm, sparse and intimate. Ogurusu Norihide's 5:00 reminds me of a woman in a hammock, strumming out tunes to herself on a bright summer day, pausing to drink some lemonade from time to time. His sound reminds me of the Boards of Canada, only accessable and low-fi.

Electric Six-Danger! High Voltage
Riviting sax solos, life or death lyrical intensity and kickass disco beats makes this the best track that I've heard all summer. Dumb, stupid and disposable, Electric Six kicks my ass.

State's review on Rez

Do bop bop dwop bop dop doopd bop bopdoop dop bop bop boop do-do bop tink tink plink dop bop bop dwop bop dop doopd bop bopdoop dop bop bop boop do-do bop tink tink plink dopbop bop dwop bop dop doopd bop bopdoop dop bop bop boop do-do bop tink tink plink dopbop bop dwop bop dop doop d bop bopdoop dop twop bop bop boop do-do bop tink tink plink dopbop bop dwop bop dop doopd bop bopdoop dop bop bop boop do-do bop tink tink bop bop dwop bop dop doopd bop bopdoop de boop tink dop bop bop boop do-do bop tink level
layer 2 tink plink dop plink dopbop bop dwop bop dop doopd bop bopdoop dop bop bop boop do-do bop tink tink plink dop hwang bop dit dit dit dit doop ching dwop chink

Having played Rez, this review captures Rez more than any other I've read. Do bop bop dwop, indeed!

Shigiru Miyamoto's Tokyo University Lecture

"I'm not a nice guy; if I was a nice guy I'd just sidle up to people and say "Why don't you do this?", but no, sometimes you have to bite down and show that, like, "I'm stroonng!" (laughs) When I flip out, it's because I'm being sincere in my desire to get something done with the project. "

More in link

From the "No shit!" department, Britney Spears declares that she's not a virgin

On Canada

"Unlike America, we never had a revolution where we violently severed ties from England. Instead, we came to a gentleman's agreement. Canada is now a less British place, but we still have the queen on our money. Canada is a little bit like the kids who never rebelled, but when they turn 40, they start smoking pot. "

-Noami Klein speaking on the differences between Americans and Canadians

Don't Do The Dew

In the summer of 2000, Roach was assigned to prosecute Tyrone Henry after two teenage girls said he lured them to his home to try out a product called "White Dew" facial cream he was developing. Instead of exfoliation, they said they got ejaculation...

...Tucson porn-proprietor Tyrone Henry wants you to know that blowing your load on the faces of blindfolded, underage girls who think they're participating in a facial cream marketing study is not fraud or any other crime, no matter what the Arizona Court of Appeals said last month. He also wants you to know he was framed.

More in link.

Flamings Lips Settle Over Plagerism Issue

As THE FLAMING LIPS prepare for their GLASTONBURY mainstage appearance tomorrow (June 28), the band will be attempting to shrug off a costly financial hit after they were forced to hand cash to veteran Cat Stevens (now Yusuf Islam) over similarities between their new track 'FIGHT TEST' and his classic 'Father And Son'.

A settlement has been reached between the two sides after similarities were discovered between the two tracks.

More in link.

Grief Sweeps Iran After Twins Die in Surgery

Iran plunged into shock and grief on Tuesday after conjoined Iranian twins died in high-risk surgery aimed at giving the sisters a chance to lead separate lives.

The suffering and bravery of the twins has captivated Iran, a land with a fair share of its own woes. Iranian television cut into scheduled programs to announce the deaths.

"It is a sad day for Iran," Vice-President Mohammad Ali Abtahi told Reuters. "The Iranian nation and a lot of people around the world were looking to the hospital hoping these two would be rescued."

More in link.

Found Magazine is a magazine dedicated to lost post-it notes that you find on your foot when you go to the water cooler at your office, or the rain soaked love letters that you find in the drain after a Big Mac. Lots of fantastic stuff here. I suggest that you give it a gander.

The best review for the new Harry Potter book
Don't click if you don't want spoilers, baby.

Students questioned in Klein pie incident

Calgary police are questioning three students in connection with an incident that left Alberta Premier Ralph Klein wiping banana cream pie off his face Monday.

The students could face mischief and assault charges.

More in link.

A question to all: is pieing political leaderse strictly a Canadian past time? I seem to recall it happening to Gates a couple of years ago.

Well, how about that
After over two hours of frantic searching, it turns out that Grita, the woman before my shift had the keys all along and took them home with her. Nice to know that I'm not a total fuckhead.

The highlight of working at the hotel
It would have to be losing the keys that opens the till. Fun fun fun!

More victims of the CTF cuts

The finance structure of most productions is contingent on getting the fund's help. If that falls through, you don't get any of your other funding, either. Yes, there are other ways to close the gap (i.e. Rogers Telefund), but while you're waiting for that money to materialize, your chances of getting your show ready for market in September is next to impossible. My friend Semi Chellas, head writer and executive producer of The Eleventh Hour, said, "No show in the world is expected to deliver in such a short amount of time. It's impossible from a writing perspective, as well as it completely undermines the quality."

Those in the industry are obviously up in arms about this devastating loss of lifeblood from an already dying Canadian culture. But the more imminent problem is that many of us are out of a job.

More in link.

I would have figured with all the fuss that Paul Gross and the rest of the Canadians actors made about the cuts that the governemnt would have got off their ass and put some money back into the CTF. I suppose the inevidible public backlash in the fall will change that, however. We'll see.

Peter Jackson is fantastic
I've been watching Meet the Feebles for the last 15 minutes and it's one of the most surreal films that I've ever seen. Imagine Takashi Miike's take on the Muppets and you get an idea what this movie is like. Imagine if you will, a muppets movie filled with buggery, excessive drug use, extreme puppet violence and underground snuff films. It's hard to believe that this is the same Peter Jackson that went on to make the Lord of the Rings movies.

Chretien karate attack!

Badger Attack Injurs Five

A rogue badger attacked five people during a 48-hour rampage in a quiet suburb.

One man required two skin graft operations, after the badger woke him up and attacked him when he went outside to investigate.

Other victims included a man who was attacked as he walked home from a pub, in Evesham, Worcestershire.

Mike Weaver, from the Worcestershire Badger Society, said: "I have never heard of anything like this in 24 years of work with badgers throughout the UK."

More in link.

Rules for writing Fan Fic
Although this list is more or less Lord of the Rings exclusive, there's some great advice in here. This list is a *must* to all those who dare to write fan fic.

My favorite is rule #2:

Total strangers looking for fanfics do not want to read chat room conversations between you and your friends, even if you're pretending to be LotR characters. No, really. No, I don't care how funny you thought it was. Post it on your LJ.

Creepy break-up phone call
I found this on Fluxblog and it's the creepiest thing that I've ever heard. Cringe as Frank toys wth Beth's emotions! Gasp as you hear him call her "darling" Resist the urge to slap the living fuck out of Frank!

The Live Action Burly Brawl
They said that it couldn't be done. Leave it to the Japanese to get a bunch of eager men in suits to fight each other silly.

Weird, yet brilliant ad for a Lipton's product
Not sure what it's for, exactly, but God is it ever brilliant. You just can't beat leather, guns and exploding birds.

Bad dog! Bad dog!

I want to drink your blood
It's been a while since I've played the Vampire game. It's interesting to see the changes that they've made since they first introduced it.

Ten Appauling Lies We Were Told About Iraq

More reasons to love the Japanese gaming industry

More crazy shit from the Better Cooper FAQ
"Betty doesn't mind it when Archie splats her face with a snowball, because he has to tackle her to do it. She thinks it's a lot of fun."
Doesn't this sound like something out of Clerks? Betty, you are one kinky girl!

Bwa ha ha ha! I'm fucking crazy!
God... it's only one night into my 10 day romp at the hotel and I've already snapped. How do we know? Simple: I've found the Better Cooper FAQ. Did you know that "Betty likes to kiss Archie on the couch, and she's very vocal when telling him her needs: "Ooh! Yes! Yes! Please!"? Thanks to this FAQ, you do! It's your window into the aqaurium like brain of Betty Cooper.

Old, but still good:the Comedian Trailer
I've said this before seeing this trailer and I'll say it again, someone should make a sitcom about Mr. Voice and his family. It'll sell like hotcakes, man! Hotcakes!

It's the best remix *ever*

A Letter From David
Got this in my e-mail box from David earlier this morning.

If I had a blog I'd add this to it:

Go to google.com

Type in "weapons of mass destruction" (but without the quotes)

Click on "I'm Feeling Lucky"

Rejoice.

If you're too lazy to jump through the hoops that David set up, I've done the work for you. Feast your eyes on this.

Thanks, David.

They said it could be done: The Ocarina of Time in 2D
That and all the other 3d Zelda games for your downloading enjoyment.

Creation of human 'she-males' sparks outrage
I was *so* tempted to look up some she-male pictures to make this article *that* much more enticing.

Recent Dreams
Since I'm going to be working at the hotel for the next 10 days, I've had to change my sleep patterns a bit. This means *lots* of naps in the afternoon so that I don't fall asleep at work in the evenings. Short naps also mean lots of dreams, like I did today. Anyhow, without further ado....
Dream #1
I'm not sure where I was, but I was with this girl that goes to my church and who I was in band with. Her name is Alessandra. In real life, she's 18 and not very talkative, but in my dream, she was much older and liked to laugh a lot. As we were talking, we drew closer and closer and were about to kiss.
Dream #2
I was chatting with my next door neighbour while having breakfast at my apartment. Both she and I were eating out Fruity Pebbles, but she ran out of milk, so I offered her mine. She smiled and thanked me and decided to lecture me about the great taste of milk that had been sweetened up by the fruity sugar. Next thing I know, I'm at her office and we're at the CBC. She's interviewing me for a newspiece and it's aired 2 minutes later. There's lots of mistakes in it and it's barely coherent, but I'm told by a news producer that's how things are done at the CBC.

Catholics demand affirmative action for Marvel Comics

The July edition of the Marvel Comic series, “The X-Men,” tells the tale of good and evil by using Catholicism as a backdrop to the story. Along the way, many teachings of the Catholic Church are ridiculed. Among them are the Church’s pro-life position and its belief in the Eucharist as the Body and Blood of Christ. At one point, the pope is revealed as the Antichrist; at another, a former Catholic nun who was raped by a priest is cast as the pope.

Man, it seems that Marvel is pushing *everyone's* buttons this year. We got the trouble with the Catholics with priest rape, trouble with the English with bringing Princess Dianna back from the dead so that she can join X-StatiX and trouble with the fans by firing Mark Waid from Fantastic Four. I guess having successful comic book movies isn't good enough for them now.